Love and Misunderstanding

Most of this section focused on love and how it affects one’s life. Ranging from Peter’s love toward Clarissa, Richard’s love for Clarissa, and the relationship between Elizabeth and Doris. All of these forms of love are, at the least, slightly dysfunctional, at the most, deteriorating.

Peter and Clarissa’s love is viewed mainly from Richard’s point of view while he is contrasting with his own relationship with Clarissa. Peter is very intense and passionate, a word that Richard uses often to describe the past between the two. He feels deeply and has to express himself in the same manner that he experiences his feelings. Richard, however, is more level-tempered. He loves Clarissa, but is unable to physically say the words to her.

This lack of saying “I love you” bothered me. In my family, it is very important to tell the ones you love that you care about them and love them all the time. In fact, we rarely leave the room without saying it to each other. Yet, Richard, who has been married for many years now, cannot bring himself to say the words. This is another example that Woolf gives the reader of the horrible communication skills humans beings have with one another. He cannot express his feelings to the person who he should be closest to and feel the most comfortable with. To me, this is a great tragedy and is the largest source of hopelessness that Woolf expresses throughout the novel.

This lack of communication is also seen in the Doris-Elizabeth relationship. Whenever the perspective shifts to one of them, they both try to express certain feelings and understandings to the other, which often end up being misunderstood. Doris is especially misconstrued by Elizabeth. Her feelings toward the other Dalloways and rich families in general are very important to her. Their attitudes toward others, such as Doris, infuriate her, a feeling that she wants desperately to convey to Elizabeth. However, Elizabeth is so unaware of Doris’ needs that she instead leaves her to enjoy the day. This lack of understanding between the two causes emotional distress and unhappiness, a theme that Woolf portrays in each of the relationships she writes about.